Goodness Weekly 9.1.25
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
— Oscar Wilde
WHAT’S GOOD
Our first Thrift Pop-Up supporting Nuevos Vecinos was so successful in July— you helped us raise $500! — that One Another Coffee is bringing it back again this month. Mark your calendars for the event happening on Second Saturday, September 13th, during the farmers market.
We're looking for volunteers to help with setup, hospitality, organizing and tending the thrift shop, and engaging with visitors throughout the event. No retail experience necessary—just a heart for service and a welcoming smile! Find out how you can give a helping hand here.
From Pressure to Peace: Identity Beyond Performance
Jess Lowry, Executive Director, Sunset Ridge Collective
This is Part 4 of a 5-part series based on a conversation with Licensed Professional Counselor & Supervisor Grace Iacuone. In our interview, Grace shared insights from her work as a therapist and her experience as a mom, helping us think about how to navigate change, build connection, and care for our mental and emotional health. Each week we’re exploring one theme from that conversation, with simple practices you can try in your everyday life.
Part 4 — From Pressure to Peace: Identity Beyond Performance
We’ve talked about how to ease the unknowns, build trust through congruence, and create rituals that anchor us. But Grace also pointed out a quieter, more hidden source of stress: the heavy weight of the “shoulds.” These are the expectations we carry — from ourselves, from others, or even from the comparisons we make scrolling through social media. I should do more. I should feel different. I should have it all together.
I remember this so vividly in November 2015, when I bought two tickets to Pearl Jam and round-trip flights for an overnight in Mexico City as a surprise for Nathan. But here’s the strange part: I felt conflicted. I was two years into my role as children’s minister at Sunset Ridge, and I had all of these ideas in my head about who and what I should be. I even considered hiding where we were going, afraid that somehow this part of me — the Pearl Jam fan — wouldn’t be welcome.
In trying to split myself into compartments, I ended up exhausted, burned out, and confused. That’s what Grace was pointing to when she described the danger of “shoulds. Thankfully, with the encouragement of people around me, I began to understand that the work I was called to do and the person I was called to be in the world couldn’t be divided up. I am not an image of who I think I should be — but who I am and who I am becoming (a major fan of Pearl Jam included).
The shoulds creep in quietly, convincing us to be something other than who we are in the moment. They block our intuition and create a false standard to measure ourselves against. Instead, she encourages us to separate worth from performance, and to make space for the different parts of ourselves — the ones that are driven, tired, joyful, anxious, and everything in between.
We also talked about how easy it is to measure ourselves against the wrong ruler. Social media, neighbors, even casual conversations can set an invisible standard we think we’re supposed to meet. When we stop looking outside ourselves for validation, we can start noticing what actually matters to us — and we often find that it looks very different from the comparison game.
When we practice separating our identity from our performance — and when we measure ourselves by our own values instead of someone else’s — we remember this truth: our worth is not something we earn — it’s something we already have. And from that place of security, we can meet life’s demands with steadier hearts.
This week’s practice:
Notice where “shoulds” are creeping into your thoughts — or where you’re measuring yourself against someone else’s ruler. Try reframing your thoughts using “parts” language, and take a brief pause in your day — perhaps in the morning or between tasks — to breathe, reflect, and recenter yourself on what truly matters to you.
Love, Jess
Coming Up…
September 13th, 9 AM - 1 PM, Second Saturday Farmers Market & Nuevos Vecinos Thrift Pop-Up
September 20th, 11:30 AM - 1:30 PM Calm in Color: Learning Watercolor Glazing, The Art Room
Daily, NYX Yoga & Fitness
Daily, One Another Coffee
Wednesdays, Open Studio, The Art Room
Wednesdays, Mission Compost Pick Up
Thursdays-Sundays, Scott’s Pizza
Fridays, September 12th - October 3rd, The Embodied Way Workshop
Saturdays, Sunset Ridge Farmers Market
Sundays, Worship at Sunset Ridge Church
Event Rentals - Interested in hosting your event at Charis Park or in our facilities? We are currently booking for 2025–please email rentals@sunset-ridge.org
Community Partners: For updated schedules and events please follow One Another Coffee, Sunset Ridge Farmers Market, NYX Wellness, Scott’s Pizza, Mission Compost, Sprouts School, Good Acres, and Community First Food Pantry.
Inhale: When I feel the pressure to be something I’m not
Exhale: Ground me in the truth that I am enough just as I am
